I think that starting to be brave and bold in what I was wearing (and posting it on the internet) has helped to open this up in me. This outfit, with it's loose undefined top and drop waist on the dress is not a sillouette that feels easy to me, and wearing it out of the house is hard for me, but rewarding. All that practice in taking chances with this small daily choice is paying off. After years of missing dance and doing nothing about it (and rationalizing that it was too expensive an indulgence on a grad student salary), I decided to throw myself back into ballet classes. The boy told me how proud he is of me, and that I'm brave for being willing to put myself out there in this way and go after something even though I feel like I'm flailing. I felt sick before the first class, not knowing what to expect, but knowing that I don't in any way resemble a dancer (except for my good feet). My body doesn't move in all the same ways that it used to, even a few short years ago, but mostly, coming to class feels like coming home.
This necklace tells me exactly what I need to hear sometimes. Be brave. I had admired these Jess LC necklaces since I first saw them, but for the longest time wasn't sure what it was that I wanted to wear around my neck- it's good to be thankful, and yes, also to be present and dream big things- these are things I need to remind myself of often. But I realized that being brave has been what I've been most intentionally striving for over the past couple years. Brave enough to take chances (like introducing yourself to that cute boy at a party), to not shut down in the face of the loss of a loved one, to throw yourself into something even though it'll make you uncomfortable. Brave enough to live and love fully.